Yes, as much as this column has over the years told you to always be positive, I am now telling you that you should actually plan to fail.  As shocking as this may seem, I recently read as book about successful goal achievement that had a whole chapter devoted to how to cope with failure and still maintain not only your goal intention, but your self esteem and conviction as well. Living a Healthy Lifestyle, the tag line for this column, has frequently discussed the topics of both goal achievement and self esteem but in the context of success, not failure. OMG, ladies, how could we ever actually fail?

Okay, I am paraphrasing and putting my own slant on this idea, but this is the aim of my comments-failure is bound to happen along the road of life. It is not always going to go your way. You won’t always lose those 5 pounds in the first week. You won’t always get that promotion. He won’t always call on the Monday after a Saturday date.  I may be just guessing here, but I don’t think you will win the millions of Lotto dollars you see on TV. Sometimes life just does not roll your way or mine. When I tell you to plan to fail, I mean just that. Some people call it a Plan B; others call it a fork in the road, and so on. I call it a goal reset alert.

As we set goals for ourselves, the first thing we should do is to be realistic. Yes, you already knew that I am sure. One does not plan to run faster than the speed of light. It is all right to plan to walk your dog up the block every day. That is a good goal. Even a goal as simple as that can be stymied by rain, a hurt knee, a sick dog, and a hundred other things. All I am saying is that you should plan for that and so not let it deter you from your main intention which is to get more exercise. Plan B? Walk around your house, exercise to a DVD that you bought for just that purpose, watch a TV exercise show. Do you see what I am saying? Keep that goal but give yourself what I call “failure resets” as a fall back that keeps the main idea in place.

Plan to save a portion of your paycheck every month and do not be deterred by a mascara sale, but do take the opportunity to double up and make a final payment on a charge card that is making you pay 19% interest. In the long term you will be able to not only make it back, but perhaps even up your savings amount.

It is also good to change a goal that has turned out to be unrealistic. Maybe you thought you could finish that project in a week, but it looks like a bit more than that if you plan to do a good job. Make “doing a good job” the goal instead of that finish in a week deadline that will compromise quality. We are all stubborn and prideful when it comes to meeting goals and that is a good thing until it becomes a road block to actually completing something that not only means you have finished, but finished well. All I am saying is that if that happens, don’t let it get to you and don’t let others question your reset. Don’t let “Oh, you didn’t finish on time” take the place of doing a job that will earn you more kudos and self esteem than you would ever have had if you finished on time and did a half way job. That “poor to fair” rating sticks with you for a long time, honey.

These truths apply so much to things like portion control and food choices.  Let’s say that  you decide to only have 900 calories today and someone brings homemade éclairs to the break room.  Perhaps you will chose to tough it out, but you may also have one and watch it at dinner time, or simply wait until tomorrow to reset your goal. If this is part of a long term plan, and it certainly should be, one day and one slip will not kill anyone. You must just know that it is a slip and not a reversion to old bad habits. In fact most surveys dealing with food consumption tell us that to deprive yourself of the occasional slip is eventually going to take  you to binge failure hell.

Back to the plan to fail or what I would better term as “open options.” That sounds a lot better doesn’t it? Yogi Berra has said famously that when you come to a fork in the road you should take it. I am seconding that comment. I am also adding that you should look forward to the possibility that things may not go in one and only one way to be successful. Plan carefully but always look to the future as an open book rather than the list you have pinned to your fridge. I think you may well redefine success, but enjoy the things that go in a way that makes you happy. After all, in the end isn’t that what makes life interesting?   Love, Judith

PS-Look for new recipes, reprints of Skating Uphill  articles, and interesting comments  at my BLOG: www.skatinguphill.com.

Skating Uphill, PINK MAGAZINE, JULY 2017

By

Judith Lawrenson

Honestly, if I read another article about exercise I think I will just sit here and be ill. No, I guess I better not just “sit here” to be ill. I need to walk around-right?

The Uphill Skater

Oh, I know, I know, exercise is good for you. I have often said, though, that it is not really a weight loss tool. You cannot possibly exercise off all of the calories you consume. Well, just as everyone is convinced of that fact, more information has emerged showing how actually important exercise, even mild exercise, can be for a huge variety of reasons-who knew?

Experts are coming forth almost daily with results showing the benefits of even moderate exercise. They say that even moderate movement-a new term-can reap huge health rewards. In the newest issue of The Good Life, the Dr. Oz magazine, he calls exercise the “drug I want you all to take” and goes on to list 11 major health conditions that are helped by even low impact movement. He lists things like better sleep, adding healthy years to life, reduced risk of Alzheimer’s, and lower risk of both colon and breast cancer.

Most important of all, to women at least, is his statement that heart disease, well known to be the biggest killer of women, can be reduced by nearly a third with moderate exercise. I think that is so very important.

A friend of mine had what they call a heartbreak heart attack and her Dr. told her the same thing. She started about six months ago with a walk that went up to the end of her block and back. Believe me that was not very far. In the last six months she has lost 20 pounds and gone from a size 14 to a size 8. She walks about two miles a day which does not seem like much to you guys who do the big runs and huge gym work outs, but it has certainly worked for her and I am in hopes that it will work for me too. My dog hopes so as well since he loves to walk more than anything.

So, do you have to go to the gym and break a sweat and take another shower, change yet again, and make 2 hours for you to say that you have exercised? Well, no you don’t. New research, and lots of it, says it does not take much. I know you have seen and been reading some of the same things I do but I can’t resist the urge to put a little recap out there. You can count yard work and housework. You can Do you lift when you do laundry? Lift that load five times instead of one. Get up during commercials and walk around the house-NOT THE KITCHEN- and you already know that!

Go on line. I have used Sparkpeople.com in the past and I really like it. I have also downloaded several apps onto my tablet and phone that I think are great. I especially like one called “Calories in Food” which breaks down literally anything you eat. I know counting calories is out these days, but I still use it and I still look at labels and I hope you do too. Some people advise finding a buddy or group either real or virtual, but honestly that has never worked for me. I think it makes it easier to play the blame game when others are involved. In the end, it is just you and that is always a reality. Do what suits you best though.

My next favorite exercise, right behind walking the dog, is to dance. I was never a prom queen or any kind of a dance lesson kid but I have always loved just moving to the music. I swing and sway, bop and jive, flail my arms and do the cool jerk all to either Pandora or one of the music channels on my TV. If I am not by myself I feel a little silly, but so what? I may feel silly, but I also feel energized and good. Try it.

The most important thing is to stay as easy as possible. I do not need to tell you that if it is easy and you form a habit your plan will stick and if you set small goals you will keep going toward the big one. We have discussed goal setting several times in the past so I will not go into that side of the exercise equation except to say that maybe this time around you do not set any really big goals. Don’t say the old 10 pounds line or the belt buckle hole goal. How about just saying you want to feel better? Try it.

Summer is here big time and yes, it is hot and humid. Go to a pool or go to the beach. Try a water aerobics class or just paddle up and down. Walk on the beach in the early morning or just dance in your air conditioned family room. Stand up during a commercial and trot around the coffee table. You get it-just do something!

PINK MAGAZINE  JUNE, 2017-By Judith Lawrenson

“Environment is the totality of what surrounds you so for the optimum healthy lifestyle one should surround oneself with only things that are good, happy, and productive.”

The Uphill Skater

Okay, yes, I am actually the Uphill Skater and yes, I often quote my very own self. So, what? As an advocate for living a healthy lifestyle I would be a pretty poor example if I did not believe what I tell you, would I? I also admit to subscribing to many, some say too many, magazines. I try to keep up with food trends, health updates, and new surveys. Some would find this quite a chore, but actually I love it. It gives me great pleasure to share what I have learned. My friend  Elizabeth Millen is that type of person too. I think perhaps anybody who is a really great teacher must be that sort of person as well.

In this month’s Skating Uphill I would like to share with you some new findings that are really old. I know, I know, this happens often doesn’t it? Something is passed off as brand new when actually you “already knew that.” It is like the “new” findings about eggs-I and you already knew that eggs were good, versatile, and healthy. How many times do we actually need to be told that same fact? So, this month I will share with you, dear friends, some of the “new” thinking about how we spend our lives. Here is the new SOS-You are a part of a big totality of all of the things in your environment! How about them apples? Did you already know that? Well. I thought I did too, but let me just put a few things together for you. It does indeed paint a bit of a different picture.

Your “total environment” is all of the things that surround you physically, emotionally and mentally. Starting with the term emotionally, have you ever heard the expression toxic friends? Well, that is not just an idle term. The word toxic is used for a very good reason as it turns out. Bad people in your environment can actually affect your health. Being constantly angry, afraid, tense, uneasy or in avoidance mode can take a measurable toll on your blood pressure, nervous tension, and yes, even eating habits. That works two ways as well-both over eaters and under eaters can have causes that are traced to toxic relationships. Look at those with whom you surround yourself. Do you enjoy their company? Are they a positive influence on your life? Very simply, do they make you happy? It is pretty easy to handle this type of thing if it is an acquaintance or non-relative, but in the workplace or at family gatherings it is not so easy. Sometimes you just have to sit by Aunt Mary who tells you how fat you have gotten or you must work with Bob who tries to take credit for your work, but at least you are aware of these pitfalls and can try to avoid or make the best of them. Beware though of things like loving that bad boy or staying in a relationship that you know may become abusive. Think about a way to change roommates! After you read this, just take a few deep breaths and a couple of minutes and evaluate what I have said.

Your emotional and your mental environments are closely related obviously. Mental health in my mind though has a couple of different components and is tied as closely to emotional health as it is to physical health. Mental health is not just about feeling happy. Mental health is not mood or sense of humor. Mental health can be a life breaker. Conditions like OCD or mild depression or even anxiety attacks must be taken very seriously. More serious mental issues can be obvious but even in some of those cases signs and symptoms are overlooked or misunderstood. Did you know that over 70% or young people in juvenile detention have treatable learning disabilities? Statistics like this seem shocking but so often behaviors are seen as only that rather than signs of real issues.  I do not intend for you to be going around checking out other people for mental health issues; what I do mean is for you to look at YOU and perhaps gauge and evaluate whether or not you are where you would like to be.

I have asked you to do several difficult but important things this month, but here is an easy one for a change. No, it is not to eat healthy food although that is never a bad idea. I will ask you to surround yourself with things you like. Change the color of a room. This is not so hard or expensive in these days of one-coat paint and those little edger things. Go out and buy some plants or flowers. If you cannot afford this, cut some branches and put them in a vase. If you watch HGTV (Yes, I am a devoted Joanna Gains fan!) you will see that they pick anything and put in a clear glass pot, Mason jar or whatever and it looks great. Plants also give off oxygen so they are good for you as well as being restful and attractive. Buy a new blouse in a pretty color.

Okay, I will stop preaching now. I only close by asking you one more time to close your eyes and take a deep breath and list mentally four things you really love in your life. Then list four things that you don’t like.  Check out the Skatinguphill.com blog and see you next month-Love, Judith