“So if “dumming” rhymes with humming, are all just whistling Dixie when we say we got a good grade on the test, or are we faking it BIG TIME?”

                                                                             The Uphill Skater

 Dumbing down has become such a big catch phrase lately, I thought we as responsible readers of Pink and “Skating Uphill” should look at what this means not only for us as smart, cool ladies, but as (OMG!) people who might be doing it to ourselves. By this I mean, girls, how actually awful is it to be that little 20 lbs over weight, or to make up a phony excuse for being late or not doing something we said we would do? I honestly think that this sort of thinking has invaded many aspects of our lives. I also am going to go out on a limb here and say that I do not think this is always a bad thing-so there. Yes, I have joined the Dumming Down Hummers!

This expression, by the way, has taken on many different meanings. The one we are most familiar with, probably, is the one used in our schools. It is synonymous with the lowering of standards. In other words, if Bobby cannot pass a particular class, is it actually Bobby’s fault, or is it because some evil person hiding somewhere in the woodwork has purposefully made the class too hard for him? What if many others are passing this class and he is the exception. Is this a racial issue, a cultural issue, or due to the fact that there is something different about his learning style? Perhaps also, Bobby has not had adequate preparation to be in this class at all and should not be there under any circumstances. Should he be in the class before this one? Has he not been tested for admission to this class?  So it seems there are more questions than answers to this scenario that I will also refer to as “lowering standards.” Yes, I know that is a bit unfair, and I will explore that with you as well.

I have occasionally had the pleasure and honor of teaching a class at the OSHER Lifelong Learning Center. My class is one of those self-esteem, eating right for happiness, be yourself kind of things and I so enjoy sharing insights and opinions with my students. Almost universally I find though that I am regularly asked questions about standards. People want to know if I really mean that you should only eat this number of calories in a day. Do I really mean that you must dink your water and get your sleep or is that just another one of those studies that seem to keep changing results? How important is it honestly to get off your big butt and walk outside?

Much as I hate to shift the burden, ladies, I am going to have to do that because a lot of the idea of compromise and adaptation and that sort of thing, is actually highly individual. What I mean is, perhaps you decide that you absolutely must lose 40 pounds and try as you might in an honest effort, you are only able to drop 20. A visit to your Doctor and a consultation at Weight Watchers determine that you really are very near to a weight that is good for you and sustainable. So, what now? Shall we struggle to get off that extra weight only to have to starve and constantly watch every bite we eat to keep it off? I think not. Sometimes goals are unrealistic and that is a true fact.

Failing is not permanent. Neither is success. Being comfortable in your own skin should be. So that is one answer. Before you set personal goals or, worse yet, someone else sets them for you, be realistic. This means doing your homework and being honest with yourself. Both of these things are stuff we should be doing anyway and you should not have to read it here!!

As to not being able to achieve because others are keeping you down, I look at that as an excuse. Not to be hard, and I know it is easier to do something with a friend or with support, but in the end, it again boils down to just you. I stopped drinking three years ago and I am still surrounded by very close friends who drink and I am still in the same social situations where I used to drink. This has been tough, but I have done it. Sure, it would have been a piece of cake if all of my friends had said they would stop with me and we had all climbed on the wagon together-Ha, Ha, like that ever happens. So, it mattered enough to me that I was able to do it myself.

As to the issue of not being qualified to be attempting a set goal in the first place, I think that is very valid and should be accepted as a reason, not an excuse. I have seen it happen many times that a person will say that they are going to run a marathon at the age of fifty or they are going to shoot their age in golf at the age of eighty and I am sure you have heard those types of things as well. Often this is very motivational and it works out really well, but equally as often, people do not get that in order to run a big distance, they have to run many little distances first, and to shoot a great golf score requires a great many hours spent on the course. It would seem these things would go without saying, but I guess not from some of the things I have seen some people attempt. Don’t say you do not know what I mean!

So, I will end where I began. Back to Bobby, who is in the classroom not able to perform up to a preset standard that has nothing to do with his abilities or knowledge? Shall we change the test? How about instead we look at reasons. He has had no prep for this class that is too advanced for his level of expertise. How about a pre-class or a tutor? He is being held back by some learning difference, perhaps. My solution is the same as the woman who sets a goal of running fifty miles at the age of fifty. Is she actually equipped to do it or must she first lose thirty pounds, have her heart checked, and try running one mile first?

All I am saying is that we need to look carefully at ourselves and our goals before we set, modify, or fail. I love to succeed, and so do you. Let’s set ourselves up to do that instead of looking for reasons to fail!

Tune in next month for yet another sermon on just doing the best we can do in our circumstances because that is what it is all about anyway, right?

(Co-edited by Wm. Lawrenson, Jr.)

All right, I guess we all know that love is Not really all you need. I mean food, clothing, a house, a car, friends, a glass of wine-I could go on and on. Honestly though, love is not a bad place to start-especially in February with Valentine’s Day and all. They say that “Love conquers all” and I think there is a lot to that kind of thinking too. I would like to dedicate some thoughts to not just that idea but to a lot of related things that have been floating around recently in magazines and web sites.

The concept is about kindness. I saw a couple of month ago the cover of a magazine that said “Throw Kindness like Confetti” and it started me thinking about all of the different ways we could be kind to each other. Pay it forward is an idea that I am so intrigued with I have done it myself many times in the last month. It is sort of a New Year’s Resolution. I put a neighbor’s newspaper on the porch out of the rain. I substituted in a volunteer slot for a sick friend and I did something I really did not want to do but I sure felt good afterward because my friend let me know how much she appreciated what I did. I saw two kids sharing a burger and fries at Burger King and I paid for two Whoppers and had the server take them over after I left. I get that these are small things, but I am on a roll with good deeds so I am just saying-watch out!

Another idea that I saw online was a big badge/pin that said “I’m Listening.” I thought that said a whole lot of things. Do you really listen when someone is trying to tell you something that is important to them? Do you care? Do you show you care? Do you think about how they are hoping you will respond? Let’s step back for a minute from politics and other hot topics and just take a second to hear what a real conversation might be about. Might a person need something from you like support or a confidence boost or validation of an idea? It might be very easy to simply say the right thing and back it up when you are called upon to do so. I baby sit for my grandson sometimes and I “listen” to what my children say about how they feel about his food and his care. I love to have him and I know they are grateful. We listen to each other and we have made this work. Think about a situation you may be faced with and how perhaps a solution could be right there waiting to be discovered through simple communication. 

Random acts of kindness have been around for a while, but I still love the idea. You just simply do something totally unplanned for someone else. Maybe you know them and maybe you don’t. That is unimportant. The important thing is that this may become like a pay it forward and inspire someone else and someone else perhaps in an infinite chain reaction. What a lovely thought. As my daily random act, I try to greet people I see or meet. I see people all over the place regularly and I always say Hello or Good Morning or my favorite, Have a Blessed Day. A greeting and a smile could make another person’s day. I know it makes mine!

Finally, here is a new word to put in your vocabulary and in your heart. The word is empathy. Empathy means the art of putting yourself in another person’s position. It is the old “Walk a Mile in My Shoes” idea. It means being non-judgmental. Going back to the beginning words about love, just think about what we could mean to each other if we loved non- judgmentally.  Diversity, alternate lifestyles, economic disparity, and I could go on and on with things that separate us. How about things that we all have in common?

Skating Up Hill is about living a healthy lifestyle so what’s with all of this lecturing about “feel good” crap? Well, ok smart aleck, study after study has shown beyond a shadow of a doubt that people who are emotionally healthy are much more physically healthy, live longer, and have a better quality of life. My mom always used to say to me and my brother before we left for school in the morning, “Now remember to be nice.” I am now saying that to you. Be kind. Be empathetic, and just be nice!  Love Judith

Update News Alert-Skating Up Hill is now a blog. Yes, you can go on line with Google and go to www.skatinguphill.com and find new articles, old articles, food tips and recipes, daily intentions with quotes to live by, and much more. Add your comments and questions to the BLOG and be a part of something good.

Boy, I got a big response with lots of questions about what to look for in boxed frozen dinners. As you know from your grocery shopping trips, the frozen dinner section is as long as the pizza section and the ice cream section. We all know what kind of pizza we like and our favorite flavor of ice cream, but those different brands and different types of boxed food are a far cry from the old days of the Swanson TV dinner. I would like to suggest just a couple of tips and some insight into selection of products from a health point of view and also from a nutrition standpoint.

First, not all boxed dinners are healthy and they do not pretend to be. Marie Callandar, Stauffer, and Michelangelo for example do not even attempt to join the “healthy” food packages. They have up to 30 grams of fat per serving and tons of not only lovely cheese, but hidden carbs and sodium. Yes, they taste really good!
      
On the other hand, products like the “Amy’s” line need to be watched. They are with the healthy selections and often have a high ratio of fat grams to protein-yes, they are generally high in protein. Many times they have carbs that are often derived from garbanzo beans or other types of healthy carbs. Nonetheless, do watch it especially if you are no or low carb.

Finally, the “advertised” brands-Weight Watchers, Lean cuisine, etc-All I can tell you is to read the labels just like you do for everything else. Look for fat grams and especially sodium. Sometimes these dinners will have 12 to 15 grams of fat and more than half of your daily sodium requirement. If you have more questions, please use my email [email protected] or come on to the blog.

Since we regularly discuss food prep and nutrition here at Skating Uphill, I would like to weigh in (Pun Definitely intended!) on the latest views and reviews on what can be delivered to your door.
In the first place, we all know that food delivered to your door cannot possibly be as fresh as something you buy at your local Farmer’s Market or really even what you buy and carefully select at your grocery store. That Having been said, some of the “to your door” dinners come pretty close. I do not mean Weight Watchers or Lean Cuisine of course, but dinners like Blue Apron come pretty close. The newest on the market by the way, is put out by Martha Stewart and is supposed to be the very best.
The idea is that you are delivered all of the ingredients for a meal. You can do the prep yourself so you can say that you actually “cooked” dinner and not really be lying. The convenience factor is that there is no shopping or chopping so to speak. In my opinion, you should try the offered samples before you commit to anything long term. Also, remember that the $$$$ is pretty steep. Let me know if you have any comments on any of these products that you have tried. Feedback Welcome.